128 oz of water
1880 calories in TWO days.
A normal day for me is 2200-2500 calories. So 940 a day is quite the change. Everything is so scheduled out that I really dont miss anything. There are times…like 10 minutes before it’s time to ‘eat’, and I want to eat anything and everything. But then I get a shake and I’m good…for the next 2 hours and 20 minutes.
Vanilla, chocolate, vanilla. chocolate. It’s not Boring at all. I wish they had a savory flavor…maybe a warm soup shake, or salsa flavored shake. Something savory. When it’s time for a bar it’s so exciting because it’s something different.
Bitsy stares at me like I’m a psycho … devouring a protein bar.
I have basically zero energy. At all. Yesterday was really bad. I could barely move. Today benton was home because he had his wisdom teeth pulled…so I went outside and cut some grass. I was able to-but when I was tired I was OUT. Benton had to walk me back inside. But, it felt good to be back to ‘normal’ cutting grass.
It was all worth it because this morning at weigh in I was down 6 pounds. All water…but still.
And I’ve been on the couch in all my emotions for the last hour. All of a sudden everything just becomes overwhelming.
I was being useful and ordering Bentons school supplies for him, and the school sent everything on Blicks website. One thing Trey LOVED was drawing and art supplies.
Trey would spend HOURS perusing EVERY aisle. Seeing what he could ever possibly need, or finding things that he may some day need - so he may as well get them now.
Just the thought of that is really hard. I’d just sit at the front of the store and wait. There was no rushing Trey…if you tried to rush him he seemed to go even slower. No matter where we were.
Finally we would leave blick turn to the right and walk to Leopold’s Ice Cream. One of the only ways to get Trey out of shopping mode … food. It’s not like we always went to Blick, or to get ice cream. But, somehow I’ve connected the two.
Savannah was always special. For so many reasons.
It just makes me think about where I was when everything happened with Trey…And where I am now…and where everything is going. It hurts a lot a lot that he’s not here to see everything.
Trey was everything I knew for more than half my life. He influenced and changed every part of my life. So I can sit and get emotional over an art store in Savannah, and be perfectly fine with it.