How do you?

How exactly do you prepare for something like this? What exactly do you do? Should you do?

Is there any preparing? Can you really even prepare for something that you weren’t ever prepared for in the first place?

i.e.- I always thought when you had a stroke you smelled burnt toast. Everytime id smell burnt toast I’d panic...holy Moses on some buttered burnt toast...I’m having a stroke. Nope. Never happened. And having my stroke I certainly didn’t smell toast...

I don’t know if it’s because of the strokes I had...the twelve clotting strokes and then an hour later the massive pontine hemorrhage, or what. Like I’ve said. My knee gave out, and I felt bad...but other than that, nothing. I was standing, next to a wall...and all of a sudden it was like I was fading out. I wasn’t scared, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t move, but I wasn’t freaking out. Everything was just slowly fading to black. I remember sensations, like being drug, and lifted into the ambulance. But, there certainly no toast burning.

That just makes me think...how do you prepare for any of this?

There is no way to possibly prepare for having a stroke. Just know you’re going to be super SUPER scared, and possibly have no idea what’s going on...at all. It took me awhile to accept and get used to the fact I had a tracheotomy. Every-time I moved my neck I was reminded thought because it was strapped on, tight. So just forget trying to prepare for that...I guess the only way to really prepare is to be nice to those around you, because when your recovering you’re gonna need them. You can however be prepared for when someone has a stroke, or really any trauma I guess...but a stroke, or they can’t talk...

  • They are scared to death.

  • They can hear everything, and that makes it even scarier. Because people tend to talk like they aren’t even there...I remember my mom talking about my swallow tests-and arguing with my sister. I remember Trey and Brenda talking about the girls, and Margot in the pinewood derby. Mom and Alicia talking about Nick, and something with the science fair.

  • If they can’t have fluids/food lord mercy don’t even talk about food. My sister was always headed to the cafeteria, and she would always tell me. I don’t know if I was speaking yet, but I’d always ask her to bring me something back. She would just ignore me. (That happened a lot...I had no idea that I was talking like Chewbacca, in my head it was all normal) so, even if you can’t understand them-assume they understand everything.

  • Instead of trying to keep everything secret snd hush hush around them talk to them about what’s going on. I think that’s the biggest change that happened when I moved hospitals - at roper I felt like a person, not just some helpless patient.

  • If You can play some music in the room for them, something they like/love -that has good memories tied to it.

There is so much more... but if you’d like to ask about that we can talk privately...otherwise I’ll never shut up about it.

I started this post asking how to prepare for the next month, and like I have for the past year, I distract myself.

Just not at all sure what to expect. All the emotions I’m sure. Emotional overload.

My birthday is the 16th, and while I’ve never been a big birthday person this year will not be any different.








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