Stinky Cheese & Steaks…

I can not even begin to tell you what a weekly tradition this was. I mean WEEKLY. It started out as very non specific. Steaks on Friday night. One week is was filet mignon, the next it was bone in rib-eye. Oven Roasted potatoes and Grilled asparagus, or locally made pasta, and steamed broccoli. ALWAYS amazing bread. ALWAYS wine. ALWAYS loud music.

Sometimes we would not even start cooking until 9… Fridays were on Trey time. Relax, talk about the week, the news, what morons people were, jobs, life, where are we going? What are we doing? What’s next? The mayor, City government, state government, Federal, China, Russia. The Clintons, park circle chatter, the police department, the mountains, it was all over the place.

But, with Trey the conversation always got deep. We would start prepping dinner at 5. MAYBE by 9 we could start. I always had to start the inside food to give him a kick in the butt to go. And he would ALWAYS say I was rushing him. Can’t I just relax and have a good time?

I was never a big drinker. One or maybe Three Gin & Tonics on a Friday night, and I was WASTED-and would regret it. So about 10 years ago I just stopped drinking. Just didn’t enjoy it at all. I’d still have one or two a month at most. But that’s now maybe a 1/year.

Stinky cheese probably started about 7 years ago. Trey would get an assortment of weird cheeses, and wine. And he would LOVE them. Always got one basic cheese I would like, the rest were odd. And that’s when goat sheep cow started. Trey was always in charge of the cheese, and wine. And then we started leaving work early on fridays and going to get our steaks and cheese.

It was a process.

I’m a quick shopper…in and out. Done. Let’s go.

Trey on the other hand…he needed to know how their kids were, and the grandma. He would talk for HOURS. And good lord if they had a wine tasting… forget it. I was always in a hurry…because I wanted to be home, and relax. Trey, could relax in a line at the DMV. He would talk to ANYONE & EVERYONE. I’d be outside waiting…and good lord NEVER rush him. Just let him be…and then he would come to the car, and say sorry . was that a long time?(knowing it had been an hour) EVERY-TIME. No, taking an hour to buy one steak, that’s normal…now to the grocery store. And oh GOOD LORD. I needed anxiety meds back then. Grocery store, in and out 10 minutes or less alone, with Trey…EVERY AISLE. EVERY TIME.

Him needed to see what was new, and hmmm what did he want to try? Oh LOOK, a $37.00 of saffron, we may need this. I been thinking about some saffron potatoes. OH LOOK, a $25.00 can of nuts. I’ve been looking for some nuts…I need two of these. OH LOOK, these paper towels are on sale…we need two packs. It’s buy one get one…

yTrey we have a whole Costco size at home…

…but these are on sale.

Two hours later … are you hungry yet? I’m hungry…let’s go. Do you have your wallet Thomas?


Go pay for these groceries…I’ll be in the car. $200 bucks later @ the car he asks what took me so long?

It never changed.

…Until Benton moved in…And at diagnosis I threw a fit. Drinking was OVER. NO NOTHING. I refused to buy it.

Trey compromised with himself. He could have wine on Friday nights.

But I would not buy it. EVER. nor would I take him to get it. So…he decided I would stay home, and he and Benton would go get steaks, and dinner, and cheese.

Every now and then I was allowed to ride with them, always in the back seat. And I always stayed in the car.

Trey at some point decided to teach benton how to grill. Trey was a master at the grill…everything he made was outstanding. He was one with the grill. And for two years he handed over the grilling to benton. Some days his nose would fly up faster than anything. Somedays he would smack his lips and turn bright red…right on the money right there…he would say.


‘BEST steak ya ever had right there. Shoot you could charge $100 for that…’

I miss that look the most. Treys super excited about food face. He always got so excited about food. Over the simplest things.

i don’t know that ANYTHING made Trey happier than really good food. It could be the fanciest of restaurants, the side of the road, a family run restaurant for 50 years…or just opened yesterday. A hole in the wall breakfast diner in Times Square, or lunch at the marina with the wharf rats…to grilled ANYTHING at home. Food was everything, and Trey tried Everything.


‘Lemme get a little taste of that right there…I gotta get this sweet outta my mouth…just let me get another little taste of that…. MmmmmMmmmhhhh’ - said Trey, always