I didn’t really expect a year later to be any easier...
I dont know if I expected anything.
I never really thought about it. I dont think I really thought about anything.
I have never ever been the ‘self help’ kinda guy...ever. But about a year ago I started watching TED talks on dealing with Grief...missy sent one or two to me and i just kept watching and searching. It was easier to listen to others that had been through everything. Listening to them and knowing exactly what they’re talking about...to feel that common bond.
I’ve done the same with strokes and recovery. Most everything is extremely scientific and boring. But tonight I found this guy. (Click link below-it’s just a Ted talk)
He talks a lot about familiarity. And that’s so true. And enjoying everything that you never even took the time to enjoy before. He also talks about his stroke right after it happened. Very similar experiences.
I remember so much in the emergency room. I remember the drs or someone talking to Trey and Brenda about it was just a wait and see thing. Surgery was not an option. I remember being very at peace...and knowing that I had had a massive pontine stroke.
I remember them removing the ventilator right before they punched in my throat for the tracheotomy (remember the mask that was put on me and I was suffocating) the second they installed the tracheotomy the mask was gone.
This guys experience is so close to mine it’s really scary. Not really scary...just a breath of fresh air that makes you go...AHHHH So there is someone that knows exactly what I’ve been through.
There are parts of my stroke I don’t discuss because for one they scare me, and I don’t wanna look like the crazy loon bat that’s seen the light...but when he talks about being able to see and touch death...yes.
And the two lives thing. Yes yes yes.
I’m not even close to the same person I was before. I mean I’m still the same, but so totally different it’s insane. There are so many parts I wish I could go back and just be like WTH...none of this even matters...drop it and move on.
Anyhow. I really enjoyed this guys perspective....