The dinner I forgot to eat...

Yesterday was a bad day. A lot of stuff. I had nervous energy out the wazoo.

I decided I wanted to make ribs. Random. But I was ready for ribs. Without even thinking about it ... I picked up my phone. Told Brenda it had been a bad day and I wanted to make ribs...they want any?

Two seconds later ... ‘yes’

And then it hit me. ALL AT ONCE.

I texted benton panicking...

‘I think I just invited the strocks over for dinner...and the house is a disaster and I don’t know what to do’

I don’t know what I was fool... it’s Wednesday, or no thanks ... not ready for that....or no...we are busy....but that immediate yes threw me off.

I made benton take the morning off. So we could clean....reality I told him what to clean, and left the room - then told him what else to clean, and left the room. ....I’m a really good delegator...

To make things worse I decided also last night the rugs needed to be cleaned. So had that this morning as well. The entire house ripped apart so the carpets could be cleaned...and put back together. With fans on all the floors to make sure everything was dry. Vinegar around the house to get the cleaning smell out.

I made Cole slaw and I had to cut the grass. And then it was time for a nap. And lunch. I made macaroni and cheese. Seasoned the ribs...and let them sit.

Walked to an appointment I had...came back home. Napped. Woke up. And had no lighter fluid. WHAT THE EVER-LOVING HELL. I can’t run to the I found denatured alcohol, and got the barrel started.

Hung three racks of ribs. Washed my lawnmower. Waited for benton to get home from a family funeral in Columbia.

I know it doesn’t seem like much. But it’s really the first time I’ve been able to fully cook, or wanted to in a long time.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had that feeling where it’s dinner time...but you can’t even just enjoy sitting there listening to people eat the food you made. I’ve never really experienced that.

I had everything ready. So as soon as they walked in the door we could eat and get it over with.

3 hours later it was over. it felt like only an hour. Every fear and panic I had...gone. That odd familiarity.

Thomas randomly talking and won’t shut up. Every now and then I’d look over and could see Trey giving me that ‘geez...take a breath’

Post stroke I talk...a lot. And I have an opinion about EVERYTHING.

I’m glad I still know how to make macaronis, and ribs.

The four bites I had were good. I guess this is my new diet so much I don’t get a chance to eat.

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