The last birthday in St. Olaf...

Surprise ... there’s a scene in Golden Girls of Roses last Birthday in St Olaf...She’s alone, because it was the year Charlie died. She’s talking to herself, or rather to Charlie...out loud like he’s there.

I never really understood that scene...or really any tv or movie that showed grieving/talking/dealing with everything. But that episode came on today again...just as I was talking out loud to Trey again. Ans I realized...good lord...I’m really that crazy person.


I really am that one. Most people think I’m so quiet...yet here I am talking away like a lunatic.


I spend A LOT of time alone now. Most all day everyday...when someone comes to the house I’m like PEOPLE are HERE!!! I talk a lot to the dogs, and a lot to Trey, and a lot to myself.


My days are so predictable...it’s insane. The dogs throw a fit if I get off schedule.


  • Wake up...generally around 4am.

  • Yogurt and Medicine at 6am

  • Breakfast by 6:45am

  • Medicine Kicks in...Shower/get dressed

  • Second Round of Meds 7:15

  • Nap...until 8ish

  • Benton Puts my shoes on

  • Bess is ready for her morning walk.


  • We generally walk about 2 miles in the morning...or walk to the gym to workout with jay. The dogs love going to the gym...so they can be seen. Then we walk home.


  • Lunch time nap.


  • Kitchen clean up.

  • Walking again around 2.

  • Afternoon nap...around 3

  • Our last walk of the day is normally around 6.

Most all of that time is spent talking to the dogs, or talking to Trey. Talking about what? I don’t even know...it could be about my shoes...I can not find a decent pair of shoes for anything now. It could be about bess, and how different she is. Benton hoping to go back to school, and going back into something semi construction related. My face...and whether or not it’s going to work. Changes in the neighborhood. Political nonsense. The wonderful workings of the city of North Charleston.


People used to always tell Trey that I was so quiet, barely ever said a word. His reaction would always be


“👀....consider yourself lucky.”


He always complained I never shut up, and was very opinionated...if I didn’t agree on something...I would not drop it. In a group, or around strangers...I observe, so I am always quiet. Trey is the one person I could always talk to.


Treys still the one I always want to talk to. Yes-I talk to Benton, the Strocks, psychologists, psychiatrists, half the neurological Drs in Charleston...but still-my mind doesn’t settle down unless I talk to Trey.

in

I’m sure he’s up there just thinking...good lord - He STILL won’t shut up.

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