Under pressure...

Why do we place so much pressure o. ourselves? Every damn day. Totally unnecessary not needed pressure.


Sure. The pressure of basic needs are necessary. But, other than that why do we push ourselves to be better than those next to you, too ok basically live a life that you don’t necessarily want/need. Anyone remember that commercial years ago - middle class, average, white guy smiling ridiculously and he says ‘I’m in debt up to my ears’? That was Treys favorite commercial...because he always said see that’s how these people afford these big vacations, and everything...they can’t afford it, and they’d rather just pile on the debt rather than live within their means.


Trey always wanted to travel. ALWAYS. But, owning your own company severely limits that. That and we wouldn’t spend that kind of money. We traveled two/ maybe three times a year. My birthday was in Florida(same time as his Sandler training) We always spent Treys birthday in the mountains. And some years we also went to NYC or Washington, DC.

One year we went to Yellowstone on a real vacation, we had the best time, and enjoyed every second of that trip. We were also supposed to go on an Alaskan cruise, and to Maine, those never worked out...because of time and money. If things didn’t work out...we just adjusted, and did what we had to.


It’s funny what people’s perceptions are. Always so wrong...but they still make assumptions.


Everyone always said what a nice house we had. What people don’t know is that basically everything in the house was bought at auctions, or off the side of the road. About 4years ago we finally got a real sofa and chair...before that we had the gold couch I bought for $75 off the street. I’ve always just taken what we had and made it work. We never needed more...more...more.


We even got to the point where we could barely eat out. It wasn’t worth it if we could make it ourselves.


It always just worked for us. I miss that. Bad.


Trey paid the house bill every-month. I paid all the utilities and groceries. Benton moved in and paid $400 rent + 1/3 of the utilities. You wouldn’t believe how much that helped during Chemo treatments.


It always just worked.


And then 2020. I had all of my medical bills, and AS SOON as I got out of the hospital trey was adamant that I get them paid right away....The night I got home Trey made benton snd I sit down and start writing checks. Thank god I had savings. I couldn’t see, or write very well...so benton Wrote the checks out, and typed out a spreadsheet. We started paying bills. For ever we paid bills, and more, and more bills. I was in a panic because a lot of my hospital bills were being denied by insurance, panics not really the word...when my Emergency room visit, and my visit to ICU were denied I almost had more medical conditions. I was so scared. Trey was correct it all got worked out. I was in such a panic though. I got all my bills paid.


That’s the last thing Trey told me to do. Pay all my medical bills. Right Away. Once I paid up to my deductible I wanted to stop paying. He made me pay and said if I overplayed they’d issue refunds. Which they did.


I’m also glad that Trey never ever let me take the most basic insurance coverage. He always made me go one level below gold. So I had the top of the silver level. My deductible was always high(10k)...because who’s ever gonna need that much medical care?


Me.


As of today my medical bills since 1/13/2020 are at 4.7 million. That does include my facial reanimating, eye surgeries....and all of my therapy.


Thank goodness for insurance. Out of pocket has been significantly less. But I still feel like the medical system is messed up. It’s all about money. Everything is about money.


That all being said. The people that worked to save me/rehabilitate/put up with me are freaking amazing. Everyone did the best they could. With that they had.


I’ve always disliked Trident Medical Center...it’s in North Charleston. But, Thank God they were there and the ambulance made it there. Tommy and Brenda beat the ambulance to the hospital(Boca Vista phase 3 is across the street). And Brenda Saw me taken out of the ambulance and Into the ER...I think at that point I had been out into a coma...but she said she thought - this doesn’t look good. I know as soon as I woke up I wanted out of trident, and I know Trey was doing everything he could.

I hate that I was so out of it, and a jackass. I want to go back to everywhere I was....but who knows if that will ever happen now with covid.


I just want to thank everyone, and put faces with the voices I know. I want to thank so many people that I can’t. And that sucks.


And that list starts and ends with Trey.


Thank You.

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As for pressure. WHY? Is it really worth it? I mean for real?

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